The Carl Online


Carl Christmas Present #1 by Greg Hunter

A few nights ago, I sat down to watch Santa’s Slay, a pirated DVD of my younger brother’s. The film, from 2005, stars former pro-wrestler Bill Goldberg as a murderous Santa Claus. Santa’s Slay belongs to the vast body of the direct-to-DVD horror-comedies that are neither scary nor funny, which manage to suggest self-awareness while basically lacking it. What distinguishes Slay from the rest is its baffling opening scene. There are few familiar faces throughout the movie (an unfortunate exception is SCTV alum Dave Thomas, who’s too talented to be in it). For the most part, they’re concentrated in the first three minutes, where Fran Drescher, Chris Kattan and James Caan are seated together at Christmas dinner, the most bizarre collection of cameos I’ve ever seen. Now Caan’s track record isn’t perfect, granted – for every Godfather, there are 88 episodes of Las Vegas – but hearing Sonny Corleone call Mango a “half-a-fag” is still something kind of incredible.

– Greg Hunter

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The New Final Frontier by Greg Hunter
November 17, 2008, 5:53 pm
Filed under: movies | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

The summer before sixth grade, I would turn on the TV at 9 o’clock most weeknights and watch syndicated episodes of the original Star Trek series.  I enjoyed the show immensely (especially McCoy’s blunt rebuttals to nearly anything anyone said to him), but didn’t devote much more time to Star Trek fanhood once school started again, that year or ever.  What’s so fortunate about all this now is that I’m approaching J.J. Abrams’ spring reboot of the franchise with a fondness for Star Trek but no real investment in it -as long as the movie manages to be imaginative popcorn fare, I’ll probably really enjoying it without sweating the details like a lot of hardcore trekkies probably will.  (Alternately, I think the Watchmen adaptation, which I’m decidely more invested in, might be a hyperstylized, slow-motion turd.)  I have no idea what I’d think of the first real trailer for the movie if I’d stuck with Trek, but Simon Pegg’s looks like he’s having the time of his life playing Scotty, McCoy’s characteristically sullen, and there are ‘splosions that you just don’t see on Star Trek episodes from 40 years ago.  It’s an undeserved treat for all us fairweather fans.

(Trailer available at http://www.apple.com/trailers/paramount/startrek/large_trailer2.html)

– Greg Hunter